i've been thrashed down and out
i admit defeat, i surrender

praise God! things are finally taking a turn for me
im just glad that my parents arent coming down hard on me
i just show my gloomy face and they would stop and try to cheer me up instead. hahaha
they're just afraid that i might stop eating and fall ill..thanks dad,mum i love you guys! :D

annoying people who are out to get me into more trouble are getting outta my way
im finally able to catch up with all the stuff i've been missing out on
temper problem's getting better..change to depression already. hahaha
im getting richer by the day, praise God
finally out of debts. (liwen remind me to pay you back your $3.50!)
and the best part is it's the holidays and im moving soon! :D

today's pretty cool
it's one of the few saturdays that mum didnt flare up and start screaming at us for no apparent reason. hahaha
woke up pretty early..
thought i should drag myself outta bed to go for guitar
realized that i had no transport so i was pretty sian and went to slack
i dreamt of you brandon! i dreamt that you were killed! didnt remember myself grieving though. hahaha. im sorry! x)
cookie was for some reason super high she came digging in my arm when i just woke up but i couldnt be bothered with her
then when i had to go to the washroom the silly girl ran after me to go potty with me. hahaha
thought she was pretty cute so i took her wherever i went for the rest of the morning
it was when mum was leaving for work when she got all moody and depressed. hahaha
(penny! resembles someone right?? hahaha)

spent 3hours watching 'ai qing mo fa shi'it was pretty cool
but nope, im not hooked up with sam wang yet van..hahaha
went bishan to photocopy songsheets that got wet. stupid rain! :(

sandy and i led for games
we pretty much screwed up
im only good at playing can..hahaha
cell was pretty screwed too! thanks to haopei
he was making hell lot of noise! ought to be shot! rahh!

stayed behind to help jess and sandy with the cooking for tomorrow
it was pretty fun i must say. we could eat whatever we wanted and jicai stayed to help too. :D
oh yeah! there was this pack of cheese that was darn smelly! i call it the fart cheese!
hohoho. i think daniel is good looking! oh no!! leila!
left jac's house pretty late with a huge box of fart cheese to bring home for the yucky dish
went home with jicai..he was super funny can! 'im handsome!' uhh..yeah, right. hahaha
met angeline on the way home! i made her smell the box of fart cheese! hahaha. she thought it was some goodie. :P
she had to go for some geog competition THAT SHE DID NOT WIN and she was still saying that ijtp didnt join. muahaha

was preparing the yucky dish just now
mum was pretty funny..she kept complaining and kept saying she's not gonna help
but she was practically doing everything for me! hahaha. :D
i scalded myself just now! pain!! :(
i cant cook for goodness sake!
my future husband had better know how to cook or we can all starve to death. hahaha
i still need mustard and salad dressing! the yucky dish doesnt even taste yucky! :(

melody should be in australia now
hurry come back k! and bring my presents too! hahaha.
quite sad, she missing emerge! :(
speaking of which, congrats to brandon for getting into the finals!
it's not too late to get that nano for me with your prize money you know..hohoho

04days 1hour 4mins 18secs (still counting..)

things arent exactly great for me recently..
especially my results..
now im gonna have a tuition teacher! and i hafta write journals for my dad to sign
and worst of all i hafta share room with my sister till i pull up my grades!
and my dad thinks that i cant pass my O's 2years later. wow, thanks!
pardon me but i was really whispering 'fuckfuckfuck' in my mind can

i am soo screwed
result's day's round the corner and mrs tan and mrs wong want to see my dad
awesome, what's gonna happen after the talk?
bet im gonna be grounded for life..i dont wanna miss emerge! :(

God! help me!

im pretty stinky from the cross country games
rahh. i couldnt pon school today
my plan failed..so did anselina's. muahaha
thank goodness i didnt take the milk..she's suffering from rashes from all the sotong now
muahahaha.
congrats to 2/2 for coming in second! :D

prayer meeting on tuesday was pretty cool
went to play pool with sandy and her friends before going to church
i was almost hooked up with this pervertic ah pek! scary..
was a few minutes early for prayer meeting so went to book seats with sandy
we looked like idiots holding 15empty seats with ushers bugging us to give up. rahh
all those we turn up late for services shall die! i realized that i really cant stand people being late when im always late..ha.
well back to the prayer meeting, i prayed till i lost my voice! but the prayer meeting was good la. :D
we had to learn cheers for emerge!
yay, sandy's in north with jiayu, nicolette and ME! :D
i think i've got an amazing voice cos it recovers really quickly..maybe that's why i've never once lost my voice before. muahahaha

i was super attitude on wednesday
ask penny, i've fallen into depression again. hahaha
i tried getting myself high many times but failed desperately. sighh
we had some malay culture experience thingy that day
had to learn to play their instruments and make their art and craft thingy
quite fun but nah, not my type.

vanessa heng sprained her ankle!
the power of confession..
that should have taught you to stop cursing yourself
and guess where she sprained it..at home
loser can. 5566 is cursed la, stop supporting them dude!
call me unfaithful but at least i didnt hafta break a leg for them! hahaha

oh yes, mum confiscated my phone last night
i exceeded my phone bill by around 20bucks
yeah, so dont call or sms my via my handphone till around next week?
call my house and ask for evan! 64817297
dont prank call me! i trust you guys that's why i leave my number here k!

yeah and try to stay away from me
if you think you can cheer me up with the usual teasing or pervertic conversations,
you had better scram before i start screaming in your face
pre menstrual syndrome lah, or defined by elson as periodic mood swing
no brandon, it's not what you told me the other time!
i should know better to trust a guy for these kinda stuff. hahaha
pretty gross to discuss this here
but i dont want it to come on emerge! rah!

my june holiday's packed with guitar
guess how many i'll go. hahaha

i just play my guitar -tony sun. x)

im going blind soon..
and pretty soon my world would be filled with darkness
my eye bled a little today. honestly speaking i was really scared
but what could i do but tell the whole world and stop myself from rubbing my eyes
and well, soaking it in different types of lotions over and over again

i was really thinking what my life would be if i were to really go blind
i've got nothing but myself and well, God..
what would my future be?

i stared into the mirror to stare at my bloodshot eyes just now
it was then i noticed that i've really been tiring myself out recently
i've got dark eye rings and eye bags now..
is it a sign of aging?

i dont wanna grow old
i dont wanna die so soon..

man, i've been really really really tired these days
my body's trying to tell me that im gonna fall ill soon! :(
i woke up with a blocked nose today! and a hell lot of sniffing
i hate having flu..
oh and did i tell you i've got a bump on my right arm
mich keeps telling me it's a bug bite but i insist that it's a tumour!
im gonna die soon! hahaha.
but anyway, it makes me look super muscular cos it makes the curve on my arm more obvious
it's pretty cool but ouch, dont press!
sandy was pretty pervertic yesterday! she kept touching it during service. hahaha

oh yeah speaking of yesterday,
phil pringle was once again awesome
although he only had 15mins to preach
the message was indeed still powerful
those who didnt make it for the saturday service would have totally missed out
the last 15mins was just a recap on what he preached in s1.

oh the cell celebrated my birthday today! :D
thanks you guys for the really awesome birthday wishes you wrote on the beautiful card made by yoke! right?? hahaha
and the really nice muffin which someone finished for me
and the really cute handphone strap! im trying to shove it into my phone now! hahaha.

i went home super early to have a heavy lunch then headed off to fullerton for dinner!
im growing fat!! :(
no more breakfast and lunch for me for the next one week! ahh! hahaha.
and there's 'so you think you can eat!' howhowhow?!?! hahahah.
i should invite geok to come..she'll be delighted! hahahahah.

im so mean!!
oh yeah did i tell you that my mum was super pissed at my dog yesterday
cos early in the morning when i was still half asleep my mum kept calling my dog
but she refused to answer her or my dad. so my mum started throwing pillow at her!
the smart dog of mine ran to seek refuge by hiding beside me..so i hit every pillow that was attacking her away. then i started throwing pillows at my mum to avenge for my dog! muahaha
then after that i was super against my mum and for my dog
and i only wished my dog 'happy mother's day!' but not my mum! hahaha.

alrightalright..i love you mum!

im hungry!
i wanna eat cookie! hahaha

yep, i've officially turned 14 last night at 2337!
at second group of people to thank!
vanny,penny for the awesome blog entry dedications
denise,jeannie and i forgot who! sorry.. for birthday messages
camelia,diana and priscialla for the birthday testimonials
jiayu for the hundred bucks, yoke kuan for letting me hold your hand!
and elson ong! i had to make him wish me 'happy birthday yesterday'!

today's been a tiring day!
ushering and stuff..
i had the worse ushering experience today!! sad.. :(
shant dwell on it! :D

pst phil pringle was once again awesome today
im loving to pray all of a sudden
loving to bind the devil and on. wow! :D

'i'll stand on higher grounds..'

im beat..i wanna sleep! hahaha..
nightynights! :D

i am all for You..

happy birthday to me!
i'll be born in 16mins time..(1137)

somehow 'happy birthday to me' doesnt seem so applicable after all
im not exactly feeling happy at all
first everyone forgot it's my birthday..that's one thing to rejoice
then once again not celebrations for it
also, the events that's been going on..i havent been feeling exactly good these days

there are somethings to rejoice about though
my relationship with God is strengthened,
phil pringle was awesome, birthday ang baos,
birthday messages from liyun,sarah,fiona, and SANDY!
who stayed up till 12am to send me my birthday greetings at 00.00.39
hahaha. thanks dude! i really appreciate it! :D
oh and special thanks to hansheng for the beautiful belt you got me..i'll wear it on sunday!
(no credits to junle cos i'll treat the belt as a sole gift from hs cos I WANT A BAG FROM YOU)
muahahha. im feeling evil..

anyways phil pringles was awesome
told ya i hate ushers.. and now, hating being an usher. hahaha
i miss the good old days of booking seats and arguing with people!
oh and queuing up!! i love cutting queues when we hafta chiong in! so fun!!
today's booking seats sure did bring back sweet memories!
i love booking seats!!! hahaha..im insane
the songs we sang today were totally unfamiliar to me..didnt know how to sing all
pardon me for my horrible singing jiayu and alex.
oh and guess what! for some reason during sermon i drooled! i dont know!! so malu!!
i know it's disgusting but i didnt do it on purpose!! rahh. hahaha

4more mins till im born! (it's 2333 now!)
how exciting! hahaha.

alrights, i had better turn in soon!
ushering tomorrow!

hi morning this way please!! -.-

finally. mid years are over! :D
i guess it really doesnt make any difference to me
i've been so slack - havent studied for my exams. muahaha
anyway, since it's over i shant be harping over it! haha

today's been a tiring day!
woke up super duper early to go to school to take my last paper for mids - chinese
then i went to watch 'when a stranger calls' it's a lousy movie! 8bucks gone just like that! rah!
and i thought it would really scare the wits out of me! sighh
oh yeah! penny, vanny and huigeok are totally weird la!
penny eats hotcakes with chilli and van, eggs with tomato sauce, and geok cuts her bread up! i've got proof! in my phone..cant upload! :(

went to orchard with joe and mich after that to eat suki!
man i was so gonna burst la. ate soo much can! rahh.
shopped like siao after that. i got new shades and pants!
im super duper tired now!

somehow i wish that tomorrow's not my birthday
all of a sudden i really dont feel like growing up..sighh

i wanna go sleep! :D

happy birthday kit yee!

wow, look! from my secret admirer! hahaa. how sweet.. x)

ah, i've been receiving comments from various people about me daoing them recently
nono, im not trying to be a dao kia
im not talking to you it's not because i dont want to, it's because i cant!
i've got this really huge ulcer at the back of my mouth and i cant speak properly
and if i speak i'll either speak like as if i've got short tongue or i'll be speaking in pain
so to avoid embarrassment i just choose not to speak at all
and oh yes, if you see me keeping really quiet recently, i've not fallen into depression again
i just cant speak! really, im fine. hahaha.

today was math!
i totally screwed up
didnt understand all the questions when they were relatively easy
that's the consequence of not doing your homework
just wrote rubbish throughout the paper
hopefully i can pass..
if i ever get another failing grade im gonna be grounded for life!

tomorrow's lit!
havent even started revising for it
im just gonna slack around till 12 before i mug for it

rahh. nutella is nice! :D

the taste of betrayal

somehow i've been in a terrible mood these days
apologies to brandon for taking it out on you..

somehow everyone seems to not understand me
somehow everyone seems so distant from me
somehow everyone seems to think that i love doing what im doing
somehow everyone seems to think that im obliged to do whatever im told
somehow everyone seems to think that im up to suck up to my leaders by telling them other's secrets
somehow everyone seems to think that they can just make use of me like that
somehow everyone seems to think that they can just throw me aside when they're done with me
wow, thanks.

i've been so tired these days
exams and well, these few days have been really quite an 'adventure'
i've decided that i'm gonna let everyone attack me at one go
then well, we'll just see what happens next.
at least i wont have to be hurt over and over again right.
whee. im so smart

evan needs to be loved

the best is yet to be

i've come to the conclusion that my purpose in life is really to make people's life miserable
hahaha. no lar! but that is for those who offends me la. muahahaha

i was just reading through a few blogs when i really come to realize that every little single thing that you do is being noted and remembered. im touched by how many people's hearts i have touched. i am touched by what i have done. i love myself

then again i hate myself. for the things i have done. for the silly mistakes i have made. for all these emotions and mood swings.

yep, i am gonna change.

goodbye forever..