wow wheeee.. it's saturday again
somehow i'm exceptionally happy on saturdays
maybe it's cos i can sleep in, or maybe it's cos tmr's gonna be sunday, or maybe it's cos.. I'M JUST CRAZY! :D

anyhow.. the week's been great
although everyone is falling sick and sleeping in class
let's see.. monday, elizabeth came to school and slept for the WHOLE DAY!
no wait. she was awake for the last period of the day. haha
then tuesday.. jeannie came and slept for the whole day too! wow..
unfair, sick girls can sleep in class. rahh

thursday! met up with lingyu! :D
poor girl injured her spine so she cant do any physical activities for the next 6months!
haha! she's bored stiff now. yay, at least i've got one more person to kajiao when i'm bored now.
ate at pepper lunch and somehow she managed to piss the waiteress off. haha. ah well..
oh and believe or not. it was my first time eating there! so fun! wheee
shopped around for her lunchbox day stuff and left to meet jiayu and kat at city hall
apparently kat wasnt feeling too good about her bibi&baba that day. uh, something about them being too big i think. lol
well, had fun playing around with them. oh and they came up with some giving birth skit just cos i took off my belt for awhile to readjust my uniform. madness.. and they made me do the breast supporter thing with my belt. urgh
prayer meeting was great.. it's been a looooong time since i prayed like that. which made me realize that.. i can give anything up, but God.
true, we all feel lousy about having to give something up when it affects us in one way or another. but having God in my life, although turned my life round and round.. but not having Him will not only be lousy but devastating.

i'm going home
to the place where i belong,
where your love has always been enough for me

friday was very slack..
the minister of state was in our school so we got to miss cme and math
yay.. get more ministers to visit our school pleaseeee :D
got our chem paper back.. i was second in class! haha!
amazing considering i lost my textbook and was unable to study for it
anyhow, PRAISE GOD! :D
oh and there was this question in the paper.. something about 'why did the red dye move further up the paper as compared to the blue dye'
guess what eychelle wrote.. 'blue is a primary color.'
haha! i thought that was funny.. :P
sorry eychelle.. at least you know blue was a primary color.. elizabeth(AEP STUDENT) and i didnt.. :D

FAILED PFT! :D
oh man was i pro.. i failed my standing board jump miserably
even lao shi said 'mei you xi wang le la (no hope already la)' when i begged her to let me go again. hahaha
darn it, hafta go through the whole thing again. rahhhhh

went for icecream with ansel and eychelle after the whole darn thing
and guess who we met... hahah. shant tell but the whole incident at macs was hilarious
although we did hurt ansel's feelings a lil.. sorry girl!
i did managed to do a good deed on friday though
cheered my dad up cos i found his salt (he's hopelessly in love with 'ajinomoto' salt)
he made me buy him three bottles of those! haha
darn it, after i told him and paid up.. i realized that if i didnt inform him about it i could have got them as a cheap birthday gift for him! grah

ah well, shall stop here
IT'S 41DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY! :D

i'm sick. i think..

down with diarrhea! (the spelling's correct k)
it's kinda embarassing actually. at least that's what i felt
imagine sitting in the classroom listening to the teacher.. and urgh! stomachache!
oh and your friends go 'again?!' hahahahahaha, i thought that was funny..

did i mention, i refuse to exit the toilet until no one's left in there
maybe that's why i take such a long time in the toilet. haha

hmm, i'm starting a poll.
should i take part in spelling bee or withdraw
reason being i'm too lazy to study for the thing, i dont know how to allocate my time properly, and I'M SCARED! oh and i always make the wrong decision. so best way to decide, take a poll.
i'm smart.. haha

free counter

oh man, it's 3 in the morning now and i freaking cant get back to sleep
urgh, i'm itching like mad at the back of my ear, i've got a swell at the back of my throat and my nose is severely blocked
the next thing i need is for someone to tell me i'm suffering from some terminal disease and i'm dying in 3days.

ahhhh.. i need sleeeeeeeepppp...

i thought you said you'll be there
i dont see you anywhere..

no wonder i was suspected of suffering from autism

You're the reason that i live
the reason that i sing
with all i am

IT'S 46DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!

it's not too early to start a countdown right. haha
ah well..

today my dad ran his car over my toes
dont ask me why they're not broken yet..
i drink lotsa milk although i'm lactose intolerant. hahaha

school has once again started in case some of you havent realized..
it is unfortunately(?) ending for us ij girls again TMR! muahahahahhaha
yay... no school for 5days! :D:D:D and i miss 7periods of math, 5periods of chinese, pe!
oh man, i love e-learning and sports day

i'm coming home..

can you do it? YES I CAN!
who are you? EVANPAY!

self hypnotism works
trust me..

i'm attempting to chiong 450words for spelling in 3days
how cool is that..





madness...

someone once told me
'you cannot take back what you've given up;
it'll only make you look desperate'

so move on already evan..
let it go

TIME OUT.

today i woke up thinking that it was sunday morning and i was all set to go to church

spelling bee is cool when you can find cheem words to scold people
at least that's what i've been doing in school. wahahaha
now elizabeth wants to tear my spelling bee booklet apart :P
STAY AWAY YOU MERDIVOROUS! AND STOP USING YOUR LIMOUS PHONE.. THIS IS NO PLACE FOR YOU TO LATRANT, and i forgot what i said already.. something about going back to your dung house. hahahahahaah..

been absolutely worn out today
was trying my best not to nod off in any lesson
surprisingly i managed. maybe because i sit pretty close to the front but nvm. i'm proud of myself :D
there's still temasek tmr! :(

walked velda home after arc today
she was talking to me about some bgr thing and according to her evaluation, I'M A LOUSY LOVER! :(
i'm sure ansel will second to it since she told me she's gonna warn all the guys around me to stay away cos relationships with me will NEVER last
eh it's kinda sad to have someone say that in your face okay
but nvm, i dont feel offended. maybe i'm destined to be a nun that's all lar. haha

whatever it is, it definitely got me thinking
about what i've been subjecting myself to for the past week
keeping myself extremely occupied so that i dont have time to think about anything else
i dont even have time to be commited to any church activities
and my sister made me realize i've been avoiding church and hiding at home. for what? i've got no idea either
is it the right thing to do? definitely not
this supression of my emotions' driving me nuts
i cant wait to see the day i break down and go crazy
alright, maybe thing's arent exactly that bad.. i dont even know how i'm supposed to be feeling lar
happy? definitely not.. sad? nah.. regret? maybe.. tired. absolutely

nope, thing's are gonna remain as it is no matter what
call me a coward for not having the courage to face up to my problems
now i just wanna hide and stay invisible for awhile

i've been told to be strong

today i woke up and sneezed out blood
i was so afraid i was gonna die soon. :(

today i learnt that carrying your spelling bee booklet around doesnt help you to learn unless you open and study it. haha, how silly..

had sports heats today
silly me didnt even know about it till i was given some slip in the morning
and i was so scared cos i didnt bring anything for it. borrowed shorts from jeannie and a shirt from jac
anyway, it was kinda malu-ating.. i ran last! :(
but heck it, at least i dont hafta do anything for sports day anymore :D
let's see what silly stuff i did before the run
i down a whole bottle of blueberry tea right before the face and i felt like puking after that
i went around asking everyone if my tag number as auspicious
i almost requested for everyone to run bare-footed
and i was plain silly. haha

oh and i went to support the b div netball match
quite saddening, we lost to rgs with a score of 19-29
but nvm, i still think our team played really well! soooo.. YAY IJ! :D

i studied for spelling bee on my way home!
i'm proud of myself cos i can memorise the first 20words and write it out without anyone reading the words to me.
doubt i can key all 600words into my tiny brain though
let's see if i can tyco and get into quarterfinals without studying again. haha

as for now,
bathe study slack sleep!

tata!

oh civilisation!

yeah i'm back from camp..
one word to describe it, WET
it's been raining forever and we had to wear wet shoes all the time, sleep in a wet sleeping bag on day two. and walk around shivering in a wet shirt.
and the wet made elizabeth sick and jeannie's bear soaked
oh and after day1 i figured that all of us gave up keeping ourselves clean -since we're forever soiled with mud- and stopped bathing
haha! yes.. we're dirty lil girls.. at least we, or rather I wash my face in the morning..

tsunami struck our campsite on day2 while we were out dragon boating. the wind sent a couple of tents collapsing and the rain flooded the rest of the tents
our tent wasn't spared. we had to dry it with our shirts. ewww..
due to the bad weather, we were sent back to school to sleep on day2 in case tsunami struck again.
ah well, at least the hall's cleaner and drier and it gave us a good night's sleep
speaking of sleep.. i had a great night being tortured on day1. apparently i was the first to fall asleep in my tent after talking and singing lullabies to elizabeth's teddy. and those meanies took revenge by shaking me around, putting their smelly feet on top of me and whacking me with the teddy bear while i was asleep. rahhh..

the stuff i enjoyed in camp other than the cold food and noisy instructors, were the night walk.. gala night.. and dragon boating
night walk - we had to walk thru this extremely dark and 'deserted' pathway in pairs, which eventually turned out to be groups of fours. teamed up with eychelle,jeannie and elizabeth. eychelle and i were singing 'i've got peace like a river' over and over again while jeannie and elizabeth talked about bathing as we walked thru.. and BOOM! attack of the instructors hiding in the mangrove!
about 4-5instructors had been hiding in there waiting to scare us. and we eventually encountered an enchanted talking tree. haha
lessons learned - gotta learn to stop getting scared.. solution: get jo and mich to keep scaring me at home

gala night - excellent performance put up by all the 9classes.. :D our class performed a skit and a mass dance accompanied by some random bollywood dance put up by me,eychelle,jeannie and eva. oh and mrs cheah played the banana tree. haha
quite fun. a lil embarrassing though but heck it, everyone enjoyed themselves that's what matters. :D
oh and 'what is my name??? ROD!!!' put up a slideshow for us. very sweet.. only thing was he had lotsa grammatical errors. like 'funs' and stuff. hahaha

dragon boating! - we did it in the rain which eventually led to a thunderstorm. boo.. we were having so much fun trying to capsize the boat and drown everyone. haha, no la. we did lotsa rowing and competition and viking. funfunfun! :D rowing back to shore in the heavy rain was cool too. i rowed with my eyes closed since the rain was so heavy and it kept getting into my eyes. oh and thanks jeannie for feeding me lotsa eeky kallang river water. urgh...
whatever it is, thank goodness i did not attempt to use contact lenses for this. i would probably go blind or something
thank God for mums who refuse to get you contact lenses and make you save up yourself for it.

let's see let's see what did i miss out.. no idea!
alright, that's it for camp..

TODAY!
took mich's car to church this morning. after 2weeks over waking up at 6plus to catch the train i've come to the conclusion that i suit taking the car better. haha. well, reached earlier than usual and went to 7-11 to do, urgh.. 'last min shopping'. haha
was freezing cold for service since i exchanged jackets with sarah lee, next week i'm bringing my green sweater. haha
thanks jac for offering her jacket to cover my legs when she herself was freezing herself. and kat for lending me her shoulder to cry on during service and writing me a sweet note to get well soon during service.. i accidentally touched her bibi and baba and she announced it to the whole world. haha. thanks leila for having a great talk with me before service and reminding me that no matter what happens she's still around to protect and support me. and thanks jo, for being silly when she told me not to backslide when i missed cellgroup yesterday
of cos, all these couldnt be made possible without God.

all glory and praise to God. had a good cry during service today. crying certainly is a great form or release but i've learnt my lesson. if you wanna cry out loud, do it in your own bedroom. i figured i made too much noise today and embarrassed myself a lil. nvm, what matters is God is still touching me.
head was spinning really quickly as lotsa thoughts kept running through my mind. and as a good history student, lotsa comparison between God and my troubles kept going through my mind.
it's time to let go and give everyone a break, it's time to let everything come to a rest
which led me to realize what a disappointment i've been.
and it eventually led me to realize who merciful and loving God is..
despite all that i've done all i could hear Him say to me today was

'i love you'
'it's time to come home, evan.'

i'm guessing no one can say these words better than God Himself
cos it only made me sink deeper into His love, draw me nearer back into His arms

Lord of my life i love You
Lord of my days i trust in You
living beneath the shelter of your wings
my heart's safe

when i am lost You find me
when i'm in need You shelter me
Lord of my life You are my secret place

clothe me in Your presence Lord
draw me near to You
all my heart i long to give to You
living to be near You Lord
i long to see Your face
Lord forever You're my secret place

You're my peace
You're my rest
You're my secret place