Q:what do you do if you're called to rule a country, rich in minerals, with a population of 3million, and someone(fiji island) wants to conquer your country?

evan(military minister): WE GO TO WAR!
liz(chan mali chan): why would you want to go to war? you're not supposed to go to war!
evan: NO! WE MUST GO TO WAR! we're trying to learn from atticus(to kill a mocking bird) and be non-confrontational! and so, if they want to conquer us, we follow suit.. WAR!!!
jeannie(minister mentor): people.. listen to me.. think twice ar, think twice.. look at the screen evan! (reads 'negotiate')
evan: i'm elected to lead, not to read!(simpsons)
eychelle(defence minister): yar! war! war!
liz: no! peaceful negotiations!
evan: no! war! two to one.. haha, we win! WAR!!!
eychelle: yay! then i can be defence minister!
evan: okay set! then you can go and defend fiji island then i can go and attack. and we'll end up killing each other! :D
eychelle: okay! yay! *smacks hi-5 and picks up a plastic bag* and now, i shall teach your how to kill yourself *starts breathing into plastic bag

Q: what do you do if micro islands wants to establish trade ties with you?

evan: DONT TRADE! DONT TRADE!
liz: why!
evan: cos they're micro.. they have nothing to offer us while we have everything to offer them! why should we let them come in and steal our people's jobs!
liz: yar, but we can get our stuff into their countries and sell, and we can boost our economy!
jeannie: and we can charge them taxes!
evan: but they can get their lousy stuff into our countries and boost their economy cos we'll buy from them!
liz: think far evan.. globalisation!
evan: why do you wanna globalise! we've got all that we need, why should we share and try to boost our economy when it's already stable enough! we should learn from old russia! close ourselves up! and germany! hitler's my idol!
eychelle: yar! bread and work! *woosh!* we should learn from hitler, i think he's really very smart
liz: eh! i'm the foreign minister, i say trade then trade
eychelle: you trade lar, we'll start war and kill all the people so that you cant trade anymore
liz: whaaat!
evan: how about.. we disguise our soldiers as traders, and we enter their country and kill them all! then we can conquer their country! :D
eychelle: yaryar! *picks up her plastic bag and starts breathing into it again*
evan: eychelle's trying to kill herself again. eh! you can go and teach the micro islanders how to kill themselves so that it wont be that bad when we attack them! :D

arent you glad you dont have leaders like us to rule the country. haha!
oh yes, about the chan mali chan thing.. i cant remember who liz was supposed to be. haha

spiderpig, spiderpig..
does whatever a spiderpig does
can he swing from a web,
no he cant, he's a pig..
LOOOK OUUTTT! it's spiderpig.

HAIL PSP, SLACK AND CHIPS!

(hail hitler, work and bread)

TOP 10 REASONS WHY FOOTBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX
10. You get 45 minutes each way, and, if you're lucky, a band at half time.
9. There's a panel of experts back in the studio analysing tactics - and pointing out where it's all going wrong.
8. You can bring on a sub.
7. You can play with your balls in front of your mother.
6. Thousands cheer you on, and millions watching at home.
5. Should you stretch a muscle, someone will rush on and give you a rub down.
4. There are no periods.
3. Protective Equipment is reusable.
2. You get to switch ends halfway through.

And the no. 1 reason why football is better than sex...
1. Instant Replay

Footy is a substitute for the gaping silence that would otherwise comprise male conversation. It gives men something to talk about without ever encroaching on our personal feelings. It's inane, irrelevant and undermining. But if it's better than sex, how bad can it be?

loss for words.

somehow or another, i've been getting into lots of trouble with bengs and lians these days
just yesterday, jeannie liz and i almost got attacked by chao ah lians for staring at them..
and today, i got growled at by this beng for looking back when he stared at me
man! it's time i got myself a few bodyguards lar. i'm too young to die! hahaha


anyway, yesterday's episode with the chao ah lians was pretty amusing..
liz, jeannie and i were having lunch at the kfc outlet in kovan when we spotted two lians covered(okay, maybe not covered..) with tatoos, smoking outside heartland mall
so we got curious and wondered if they were school girls cos they looked considerably young
and it was then when the chao ah lian caught us looking at them and decided to come look for trouble with us..
the two lians walked into kfc and sat at the table beside us, and we smelt trouble but minded our own business
then out of nowhere, one of them threw a paperball at us and approached us
the chao-er one sat beside jeannie, on her textbook and had a long but stupid talk with us..


chao ah lian: kua si mi kua!
us: what?
chao ah lian: you just now look at us for what!
liz: we werent looking at you.. we were just looking outside. where else do you expect us to look, we're facing the window..
chao ah lian: you dont think we stupid, then your friend turn around to look also for what
liz: our friend walked past and we ask her to look lar
chao ah lian: you think i blind one ar, you think my friend blind one ar. you stare at us you think we dont know
us: but the fact is we werent!
jeannie: true, we saw you girls standing outside but we werent staring at you
ah lian: uh, no lar.. cos we were standing outside then we noticed that you were looking at us. and my friend not very happy that you were giving her the look lar. cos you *closes eyes and rolls them a little
me: huh. we look out, then we blink lar!
ah lian: excuse me, blink is like that *blinks thrice.. your friend was doing this *closes eyes and rolls them again
chao ah lian: OI! you think my friend blind one ar, you think i blind one ar (somehow, i just noticed that she kept repeating that line. haha)
me: okay, so?
chao ah lian: i bu shuang lar!
me: okay fine. sorry then
chao ah lian: sorry no cure! i ask police come down slap you lar!
me: okay, then we call the cops down lar
chao ah lian: call the cops down for what!
me: you said that sorry no cure what. we get the cops down to settle things for us lar
chao ah lian: siao!
jeannie: okay, so what do you want with us
chao ah lian: is it i ask you to do you'll do it?
jeannie: no lar, you say first and we'll see..
chao ah lian: see, i say what i want your also wont do. then ask for what! stupid question
*starts touching my books
ah lian: eh! bu yao dong bie ren de dong xi la!
chao ah lian: wo yao dong zen me yang! wo yao si diao ye xing ar!
*jeannie starts blabbering in english
chao ah lian: (in hokkien) do you know what they're talking about?
ah lian: agar agar lar
chao ah lian: (in hokkien) these people deserve a beating ar. SI ANG MOH GAO! YOU WATCH OUT AR!

moral of story: study hard and master your languages well, especially english. cos half the time ah lians cant understand what you're saying

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

i dropped my phone when i got out of the car today
it slipped out of my bag.. flew and skidded half a metre away from me
ahhhhhh! now it's terribly scractched and the battery's cranky
and it's a new phone!
heart pain! heart pain! :(

time to get a new-ER phone!

fear.