somehow, i cant wait for the day when i fall asleep and never wake up again

dear diary,
i've committed possibly the biggest mistake in my life today
i had purposefully made the only boy i've every truly loved leave me
somehow i felt that, or rather.. i still feel that it is the right thing to do, for him
cos all i can see in me is that i'm a bane in his life, causing him tremendous agony and endless frustration

i miss him
the smell of his shirt
and the taste of his cheek

but i dont wanna invite him back into my life
and i wont let him back into my life
cos if i did, he would be like me..
committing the biggest mistake in his life

10months 28days.